


Experimental Method

by tigerlady (shetiger)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Sex Toys, Wacky Ancients
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-06
Updated: 2010-01-06
Packaged: 2017-10-14 12:01:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/149054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shetiger/pseuds/tigerlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney finds something in one of the labs. He gets John to help him check it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Experimental Method

"Whatcha got there, Rodney?"

John couldn't help grinning as Rodney looked up, wide-eyed panic fading away as he realized that John was the one who'd caught him with...whatever it was. Actually, the thing seemed to be two pieces; one flat, black, and uninteresting, and the other long, smooth, and very kinky-looking. Extremely kinky-looking. Definitely good for a day, maybe two, of teasing. He was already thinking up how to get a subtle dig in during tomorrow morning's briefing when Rodney grinned back.

"Oh, just a little something I found. I was hoping you could help me test it."

John stopped smiling, all of his highly-honed instincts on alert. "What's it do?"

Rodney bounced a little on his toes. "You'll see."

That was the opposite of reassuring. "McKay," he growled.

Rodney huffed and rolled his eyes. "It's harmless, I assure you, Colonel. I just thought you might want to investigate it with me somewhere more...private?"

Oh. "Oh." John looked at the...thing, and then back up at Rodney, who was grinning again. "No way. You're serious?"

"As a heart attack," he said, raising his left hand. "Now would you come on?"

They didn't talk as they walked through the halls, which probably looked suspicious as hell, but the only thing he could come up with for a conversation topic was the thing Rodney was clutching to his chest–and he wasn't saying anything about **that** where anyone could overhear. The instant the doors slid shut on his quarters, he opened his mouth to ask, but apparently Rodney took that as a signal to press him up against the wall and kiss him thoroughly. Rodney was already hard, moaning softly in the back of his throat, and it didn't take John long to catch up.

"Mmm, yeah," he said when Rodney finally pulled back. "Somebody's a little revved up."

"I've been researching this all afternoon, so yes, sue me if thinking about sex with you gets me hot."

"Hey, not complaining," John murmured before he pulled Rodney back to him, taking his time and indulging in slow, deep kisses. Rodney just sort of relaxed into him, somehow filling all of the empty surfaces of his body. They weren't going to get to the toy if they kept going like this.

But then Rodney stepped away, retreating toward the bed as John stared after him fuzzily. He got with the program once Rodney started to strip, however, and managed to get his own shirt off while he crossed the room.

"Okay, so what are we getting into here?" he asked as Rodney pulled the lube out of the drawer and set the...kinky half on top of his nightstand.

Rodney shot him a smile–one that was a cross between the pure mischievous joy John remembered from when they were playing around with the personal shield, and the purely evil smirks he had seen from time to time when Rodney was plotting something. It was the dirtiest smile he'd ever seen, and John had give himself a quick stroke just to ground the shiver of anticipation it caused. Rodney's eyes followed his hand appreciatively, but he didn't take the bait. He held up the flat black part of the object, still smiling.

"This goes right above your ass, over the spine," he explained. "It's a neural interface."

John frowned. "An interface for what, exactly?"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "The ancient dildo, of course."

That made John pause. He hadn't really thought it was a dildo, just figured it looked like one but was really some Ancient pheromone dispenser. Or maybe a tape deck that played the Ancient version of Barry White.

"Wait a minute," he said as the implications worked themselves out, "has this thing been used before?"

Rodney went for the eye roll again, but didn't quite make it. John so wasn't the only one who had thought about that. "It was found in one of the labs, so no, I'm assuming it was a prototype. But even if it was, ten-thousand years! It's fine."

John wrinkled his nose.

"I autoclaved it," Rodney added quickly.

"Well okay, then," John said, willing to not think about it. He sat down on the bed and finished getting naked. He twisted sideways when Rodney made impatient spinning signals with his hands. The pad was a little sticky, kind of like cardiac sensors. Surprisingly, that was all he felt.

"Is this supposed to be doing something?"

Rodney kissed him between the shoulder blades, making John shiver again. "No, not yet," Rodney said. "Lie down."

John did, bunching the pillow between his arms so he could breath. He spread his legs. Rodney knelt between them and started kissing his way down John's back, skipping over the pad to gently bite John's right cheek. John wiggled his ass, trying to get Rodney back on track. He might have gotten a late start, but John was more than ready to shift into high gear.

"Yes," he hissed as Rodney spread him apart and started tonguing with no preliminaries. John squirmed against the sheets, rubbing his cock into the coolness as wet heat opened him up. "God, that's good."

Rodney stopped.

"Hey!"

Rodney bit his cheek again. "Don't get too into it," he said, but John couldn't protest too much because Rodney was busy sliding a couple lubed fingers into him. John pushed back, slowly fucking himself.

"I said, don't get too into it," Rodney said, and John could hear the edge of desperation in his voice. He pulled his fingers out, and John felt something cool and slick press against his opening. "Are you ready?"

He raised his head and looked back over his shoulder, incredulous.

"Right," Rodney muttered, and pushed the Ancient gizmo forward. It was firm but not solid, not quite like a cock but better than plastic. Not as big as Rodney, definitely, but big enough to feel good, nudged up right next to his prostate.

"Is that okay?" Rodney asked. John just nodded. It felt good, but it also felt like they had stalled out, like he was in a holding pattern that was getting him nowhere.

Rodney slid out from between his legs and off the bed. "Okay, can you maybe get up so I can get on the bed now?"

John glanced over at him. "Rodney, I've got a fake dick up my ass. It's a little hard to move around, okay?"

"Right, fine," he said, frowning in thought. "Can you ease back onto your knees?"

That actually wasn't too difficult. It felt pretty good once he got used to the feel of it, kind of like being fucked without the actual fucking. Rodney knelt in front of him, lube in hand.

"You look so fucking hot, just like I knew you would," he said, running a hand over John's chest. John gasped as he tweaked a nipple, and Rodney leaned in for a quick kiss.

"Mmm," John said, smiling. "And you know everything about everything, don't you?"

"Almost everything," Rodney allowed, smiling back. He laid back on the bed, stroking his dick a couple times before he reached between his legs. John grabbed the lube.

"I can do that," he said. He got one finger in, but then Rodney's cock bobbed. John had to taste.

"Oh Jesus, John," Rodney gasped, then whimpered when John started sucking lightly. "Don't. I can't–"

John took pity, pulling off with a dirty slurp. He went back to getting Rodney ready, loving the way Rodney was sprawled in front of him, eyes unfocused and face flushed. Already debauched, and they hadn't got to the debauching part of it yet.

"You might want to think on now," Rodney said as John pulled his fingers free and started to line up. He'd practically forgotten about the thing on his back, even though the thing in his ass was constantly on the edge of his awareness. John thought _on_ , and there was a sense of something clicking into place.

"Okay," he said, "still not much. You sure about this thing, Rodney?"

Rodney nodded. "Pretty sure. Just get on with it, okay?"

John nodded and grabbed his dick, pushing forward into Rodney, loving how Rodney's eyelids drooped, how his mouth was slack with want, how–

"Holy shit!" John stopped, shocked at the sensation coming from his ass. "What the hell?"

Rodney smirked with his eyes still closed. "Whatever you do to me, it does to you."

"But. The sensor, not on you, on me, how?"

"I mean whatever your dick does, okay? So move," Rodney ordered, and shoved his hips forward as far as he could. John gasped again as it felt like the dildo shoved into him at the same time as Rodney surrounded his cock. It was almost too much to take.

"Oh, very nice," Rodney murmured, his eyes open now. "The look on your face–I knew you'd look like that. So fucking hot, John."

John was almost afraid to move, but then Rodney started pulling on his own dick, and John's hips made the decision for him. He slid further into Rodney, the thing slid further into him. He pulled back nice and slow, and so did the thing.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god," he chanted, picking up the pace because he had to. There was no way to go slow like this. Rodney pulled his legs up, letting John slam into him, slamming back into John with every stroke.

"Fuck yes," Rodney panted out, grinding down, and somehow that translated into the dildo getting bigger, and Christ, John wasn't going to make it past thirty seconds.

"Come on, come on," he muttered, somehow finding the coordination to stroke Rodney's cock, and then yes, thank you, Rodney was coming, clenching around his dick, and oh holy shit he could feel the thing stroking and throbbing all at the same time, hitting him just right, and John was coming so hard he was afraid he was going to black out.

"Nnynguh," he managed as he collapsed down onto Rodney, his dick still twitching, his ass twitching, all manner of things twitching. Rodney panted into his ear and stroked his back. He finally calmed down enough to pull out of Rodney and slide to the side, and wonder of wonders, it felt like the thing slipped out of him as well. John glanced down at himself, trying to figure out if that had actually happened or if it was another sensory illusion.

"Good, hmm?" Rodney asked, all smug pleasure.

John laughed and kissed him. "Yeah, pretty good. You need to try it out, though."

Rodney nodded. "I've been thinking about that. I'm pretty sure one of us can wear the interface while the other uses the device."

John blinked, trying to figure out all of the combinations that could produce, but it was beyond him at the moment. "Yeah, sounds good," he agreed, then snuggled in closer to Rodney, pressing his face into Rodney's sweaty neck. Rodney hummed in agreement.

He was starting to drift off when another thought jarred him awake. "You're not going to write this up in a report, are you?"

Rodney just laughed.


End file.
